Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
