he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
