we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you traded sex for a burrito?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm both gender and math confused
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
