oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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