I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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