remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize