Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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