I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
how does that bad decision feel?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
