Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I need moral support for this bender
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
