Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
