they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
