At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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