I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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