when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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