goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
