I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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