my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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