Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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