Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
