her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
