Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
