This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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