I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
