Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
