She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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