who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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