you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
