Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
