I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize