3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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