I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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