He disabled his match.com account in front of me
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she peed on how many people?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
God, I missed his penis.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
