Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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