How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
