If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
