drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
