i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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