you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
