Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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