I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
