I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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