Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Screwed.edu
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
