Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
