Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
