I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
