It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
