Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize