i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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