When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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