he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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