He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
