uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
