Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
