Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
