worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
