in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize