worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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