This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
