we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
