please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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