i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
