Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
