Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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