Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize