her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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