coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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