"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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